I collect watches – and they make me happy. I’m a watch man. I have my father’s chronometer – a watch he bought in Birmingham in 1940. I also have a white-gold Rolex, an Omega, three Seikos and a Casio. I don’t know why they make me happy – they just do. Maybe it’s because I like to have a good time. As I say, Lexingtons to the max, dagga to relax. I used to be a waiter in a restaurant, but for the last two years I have worked as a volunteer guard at Cecilia Forest’s parking area, talking to the trees (they don’t listen to me). Soon I’ll be the branch manager. I watch cars. I really am a watchman.